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A Mindful Path to
Healing Anger
from Essential Spirituality: The Seven
Central Practices to Awaken
Heart and Mind, by leading
transpersonal psychologist
Roger Walsh

"Traditionally, the practice begins with a
request for, and offering of, forgiveness. It helps
release anger and resentment that hinder love."

The meditation begins in a way that surprises many people, because it starts by cultivating loving feelings toward yourself. Yet this is not a recipe for selfishness, but rather for selflessness, since the ego and selfishness thrive on fear but dissolve in love. In addition, the meditation gradually extends its scope to encompass friends, strangers, enemies, and ultimately all people and all life. The phrases are very simple. They traditionally include four desired qualities, such as "May I be happy, kind, loving, and peaceful." As the meditation progresses these phrases will be modified accordingly to, "May you be happy, kind, loving, and peaceful," and then "May all people be ... etc.." Finally, the meditation becomes all encompassing, replacing "all people" with "all beings." To do the meditation, first decide how long you want to continue it, perhaps 10 or 15 minutes for the first time. Find a place where you won?t be disturbed and sit comfortably with your back straight and your body relaxed. Take a few slow, deep breaths to relax and settle the body/mind. Traditionally, the practice begins with a request for, and offering of, forgiveness. It helps release anger and resentment that hinder love. You might say to yourself, "If I have hurt anyone I ask their forgiveness," and also "If anyone has hurt me, I offer forgiveness." Next, begin to mentally repeat your words, perhaps, "May I be happy, joyful, loving, and peaceful." Repeat your hope slowly and gently to yourself. No need to struggle or force any emotion to arise. Simply allow the words to sink into your mind and exert their healing influence. Your task is simply to relax, repeat the phrases, and to be aware of the experiences and emotions that arise. Whenever the mind strays into irrelevant thoughts or fantasies, let it return gently and lovingly to the words. As you continue, a variety of emotions may arise, some very different from those you expected. Anger, fear, jealousy, and more may erupt into the mind. Their appearance is actually a helpful part of the process, for these are the barriers blocking your experience of love. They naturally surface when you attempt to cultivate that love. By simply observing them, without condemning or fighting them, they will dissolve and evaporate, leaving you free of their painful effects. This is a crucial purifying process of spiritual growth. Sooner or later, you will want to begin directing your good wishes toward a dear friend or someone who has helped you. Replace "I" with "you" and visualize the person. Gradually expand the scope of your love. Begin each sitting with a moment of forgiveness followed by loving thoughts toward yourself and then your friend. Next, visualize a particular group and direct your loving thoughts to them all. Later, expand your meditation still further to include all people, then all life. One further step in this meditation can be rewarding though initially difficult -- cultivating positive feelings toward a person or group you dislike or even hate. Even anger, perhaps the toughest of all emotions, melts in the warm embrace of mature love. To heal hatred, begin by generating feelings of love and kindness toward yourself, your friend, or all people. When the positive feelings are strong, then bring the person you dislike into awareness and begin repeating the phrase with him or her in mind. One delightful thing: the loving kindness meditation can be done at almost any time, any place. A boring meeting need not be a total waste. Try cultivating loving thoughts toward everyone in the room. Feeling weary during a long drive? Intend love and happiness for everyone you pass. This practice can transform your feelings as well as the climate. © Roger Walsh. Used by permission. This article was first published in Spirituality & Health Magazine, subscription number: 800-876-8202.